Tag Archives: sarcasm

The Invisible Social Life


I think I’ve said before that English is the one subject that I expect 100% from myself in. Which is why I’m slightly worried that my French mark was 1% off my English. The fact I’m seemingly knowing more about a foreign language than my own speaks for itself really.

Since my social life is like my MacBook ( I don’t own a MacBook) I spend my weekends bouncing between Cake Boss, 9gag, YouTube, The Big Bang Theory, whatever MTV’s showing and Friends. I have to hand it to ComedyCentral, showing Friends back to back on Saturday and Sunday? What a way to shove it up T4.

I tried the whole New Year New You thing and decided I actually sit and check what homework I had the night before, rather than the whole “HOMEWORK? WE HAD HOMEWORK?!” routine every morning. I also tried what Jamie Oliver suggested; to be ‘healfy’. Mostly because I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid for my cousin- so I’ll have to wear a dress…if it’s long enough I could probably get away with my Converse underneath…yeah that could work.

Definition From The Official Sarcasm Dictionary #1
Opinionated- knowing absolutely nothing really loudly

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Doing Feck all on a Friday


Ah Fridays, you know what I love about Fridays? Doing Feck all, that’s what. Knowing that I won’t wake up to an alarm clock tomorrow and knowing also that I won’t wake up dreading something, as typical me, usually spends my mornings doing that homework I forgot to do, or doing that homework that I “forgot” (*ahem*) a few days ago or running about the house screaming at the people who live with me (more commonly referred to as “family”) such phrases as
“HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FILE FOR [insert subject here]?! ANYONE?!”
Or, the classic:
“WHO THE HELL MOVED THE PILE OF PAPERS HERE? THAT WAS MY HISTORY REPORT YOU COMPLETE [insert tasteless acid tongued insult here]!”
Yes so as you can gather I’m one extremely organised human being.

My friends made a valid point today after I made a lot of really random jokes in RE in reference to us learning about the Passover. What can I say? I was on a roll- and don’t worry, they weren’t racist or offensive in any way, shape or form, I’ll leave that for Frankie Boyle.
“You always have to make everything funny, don’t you? Everything’s laughable with you! I’ve never seen you depressed,” they said.
Well, duh, obviously. Really, would they rather I sat around moping about how bring is worth living for on this cold, dark dark planet? Would they rather I made Facebook statuses such about how much I admire the colour black? I doubt it highly. It’s just a thing with me, i mean, why not lighten the mood 24/7? I feed on laughter.
Unless of course, I’m in a sarcastic mood, in which case you better watch out, as I criticise and ridicule all that falls before me.
Yet as I said, the point is a valid one, I do tend to try and make everything funny, at times without even realising it.
But everything seems a whole lot funnier when you’re me, of course.

I’ve realised the preposterous amount of speech marks and inverted comas I’m using in this present post, so apologies if your head is as shredded as mine.
And with that, I shall leave you- and Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans, even though no one in the UK celebrates it…we’re all too busy turning on our town Christmas lights.

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