My Beard Says Hi


FREEDOM! Finally I have been released of the shackles that are my school for the holidays!
Mother has hinted (excruciatingly unsubtly) about that I’ll be spending 99.9% of my holidays studying- which I know is what I have to do, just telling me all the time and mentioning it in every sentence isn’t exactly encouraging. I mean I know what I have to do, it’s just nagging me about it makes me less likely to actually do it.
I couldn’t believe that the enquiry into the phone-hacking scandal is still on-going, and even Piers Morgan is being accused. I looked up to this guy professionally, he started small, became the editor of a national newspaper, and is now living it up big in the US of A- yes, this is what I aspire to. Put it this way, I want to have been important and have made a significant enough impact on the world to have the Google Homepage changed in honour of my birthday.

Seeing the pictures of Kim
Jong Il lying in state, I felt uneasy. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter, it’s a subject of which most people have a similar opinion, and I’m not going to raise my views on a subject I know little about. Uneasy, that is all.

On a lighter and more pleasant note, Merry Christmas Everyone! I’m not sure for certain what exactly I’m getting but it’s something anyway. In the next few days I’ll be running about visiting relatives which is, of course, delightful.

And hey, I forgot to mention, don’t be afraid to email me, (missEejit@gmail.com or click a link
On one of my comments or whatever) seriously, a bit of Human contact makes my day as you know, I live in a cave, and the only comfort I have is my facial hair. Only joking, I actually live in a treehouse. With elves.

Tagged , , , , ,

Should I panic now?


Ok, so here’s the thing, I’m slight on
edge at the current moment.

I received one of those (what I thought to be) hilarious chain mail joke texts from a relative, but as It was a bit of a risky one, I sent it only to a handful of people that I knew should get the joke.

After the positive feedback and endless LOLs, I sent it to a few more friends.
But you see, I sent it to a friend who I haven’t texted in a while, and after it was sent, I got a reply asking “who is this???!” So Obviously I replied, identifying myself.
Now I’m panicking, as my friend got a new phone recently (and possibly a new number) so I’m worrying incase of the likely she has passed on her old phone (and possible old phone number…that I sent the message too) to her sister.

I haven’t got a reply yet, and like I said, the text was slightly risky. In fact not even slightly, it was a 50/50 chance of humorous approval. And now, I may have sent the risky text to my friend’s either younger or older sister. Who now knows who I am. Dammit.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Party All Weekend! LOLJK I watched the dog crap


My mum and one of my sisters are away until Sunday after so myself and my other sister were left at home with our 12 week-old puppy. We were instructed that dad would be home around 4pm and if we needed anything we were to walk to our grandparents house for lunch or food or drink or whatever.

After watching three hilarious episodes of last year’s Come Fly With Me, I made the decision to walk up to my grandparents house, only to realise I’d have to go back to my house fifteen minutes later and let the puppy out (obviously a puppy doesn’t understand it when we tell him ‘Pissing on the carpet makes mummy angry’) so yeah I spent half the day wandering around my garden with a puppy in the freeeeezing cold thinking hurry up and shit, please

Back at my grandparents, and after a feast of Cheese and Onion crisp sandwiches, I feel asleep on the sofa as my Grandad flicked through the tv channels asking me if I watched certain programmes. I woke up to find my sister had made cupcakes and my grandparents both asleep. We agreed to go home and watch our Sky tv in our own house. I watched Friends while my sis arsed around up in her room.

Damn, I just realised the shit load of homework I have… Sunday’s gonna be fun…although I refuse to go to church and use the work as an excuse.

You have no idea the pain I was subject to in PE on Thursday.
I had to run a total of about 1/2 a kilometre in under 2:30 minutes. I came 7th! I actually placed! And I didn’t get a stitch! Only afterwards I felt like I couldn’t breath. I could only manage one word when people spoke to me.

20111203-192758.jpg

Friend:
“How did you find it?”
Me: no
Friend: “what place did you come?”
Me: no
Teacher: “Wanna do it again?”
HELL TO THE NO

Im hoping the sky would hurry up and snow so people would stop putting it as their Facebook Statuses. They say shit like that, I put up gobshite such as “Almost went to jail today…damn these Monopoly games are getting hardcore”

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

An announcement and half a rant


Well, news for you all, the whole ‘new blog thing’ is coming along nicely, I know exactly where I’m going with it and hopefully sometime soon I’ll get some sort of tester or teaser or free sample (am I the only one that treasures samples from magazines and keeps them? Or am I the only one? Just me? Ok- nothing to see here)
Anyway, yeah, I’m working on a little tester for yo fine selves to enjoy. Yes that right, I’m actually doing this, I thought I should wait until I get a few more subscribers, but what the hell. I like to think of this thing as the exaggerated truth, stuff that happens in my life that I add and subtract to for your reading pleasure- cuz as you know I live for giving you pleasure…yeah your.mum.rates.me.

You know what bugged me a few days ago? Don’t pee with anticipation, I’m gonna tell you as always.

It was French, and myself and a friend looked up a word in the French dictionary, only for hilarity to consume when we saw the definition and the French equivalent. I made a poem using these words and other French words, (I’m not going to tell you, these are two teenage girl we’re talking about- it’ll be damaging to your innocent ears)
Trying to control our laugher, we told the crowd in the table next to us, who couldn’t get the joke.
Next class, I tried to explain what happened to the other crowd, only for them to conclude they didn’t find it funny.
On hearing this, my friend, who for the record was falling off her chair laughing, told the other crowd she never found it funny and was only “playing along”.
WTF? Really? Suddenly if they don’t find it funny, you don’t either? Well
at least in know where I stand with you then. Crowd pleaser.
Damn that annoyed. That fecking annoyed me. Really really annoyed me. Two faced. That’s all it is.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Doing Feck all on a Friday


Ah Fridays, you know what I love about Fridays? Doing Feck all, that’s what. Knowing that I won’t wake up to an alarm clock tomorrow and knowing also that I won’t wake up dreading something, as typical me, usually spends my mornings doing that homework I forgot to do, or doing that homework that I “forgot” (*ahem*) a few days ago or running about the house screaming at the people who live with me (more commonly referred to as “family”) such phrases as
“HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FILE FOR [insert subject here]?! ANYONE?!”
Or, the classic:
“WHO THE HELL MOVED THE PILE OF PAPERS HERE? THAT WAS MY HISTORY REPORT YOU COMPLETE [insert tasteless acid tongued insult here]!”
Yes so as you can gather I’m one extremely organised human being.

My friends made a valid point today after I made a lot of really random jokes in RE in reference to us learning about the Passover. What can I say? I was on a roll- and don’t worry, they weren’t racist or offensive in any way, shape or form, I’ll leave that for Frankie Boyle.
“You always have to make everything funny, don’t you? Everything’s laughable with you! I’ve never seen you depressed,” they said.
Well, duh, obviously. Really, would they rather I sat around moping about how bring is worth living for on this cold, dark dark planet? Would they rather I made Facebook statuses such about how much I admire the colour black? I doubt it highly. It’s just a thing with me, i mean, why not lighten the mood 24/7? I feed on laughter.
Unless of course, I’m in a sarcastic mood, in which case you better watch out, as I criticise and ridicule all that falls before me.
Yet as I said, the point is a valid one, I do tend to try and make everything funny, at times without even realising it.
But everything seems a whole lot funnier when you’re me, of course.

I’ve realised the preposterous amount of speech marks and inverted comas I’m using in this present post, so apologies if your head is as shredded as mine.
And with that, I shall leave you- and Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans, even though no one in the UK celebrates it…we’re all too busy turning on our town Christmas lights.

Tagged , , , ,

My new addiction


No no no, despite the title I am not in rehab recovering from an addiction to any illegal substances.

I’ve been trying to teach myself guitar for the past few weeks. Sitting with a borrowed guitar and a copy of Guitar for Dummies (really, no joke) and I’ve slowly grown towards it.
I’ve finally completed Auld Lang Syne (that can’t be spelt correctly) and I sort of can play the little one-string intro from Mumford & Son’s Roll Away your Stone. I’m really really warming to the whole guitar thing, looking up tabs and chords on the web and attempting to sound like Taylor freakin Swift ends in immense joy when I make a sound on the guitar that sounds something similar to the actual song (or a sound that just generally sounds like an actual note).
I went to piano lessons for three years and in that time I only achieved my Grade 1, passing by only a couple of marks due to the fact I completely blanked when I was asked to play the scale of G Major. This gave me a foundation for reading music.
Last year I started singing lessons but was dropped by my teacher due to his own family matters- I’m now resuming these lessons (but with a different teacher) sometime this week.
I came top in my class in Music last year so despite not actually being able to play an instrument, I can read music and play basic notes on the piano.
Last week I played the triangle in our Class Orchestra along with my friends, yet I conducted them as I’m the one
who understands musical time signatures. So it was me sitting there saying “One DING three DING, One DING three DING!”

I played so much my fingers really really hurt. It’s all purple and stuff. Suffering for my art 😉

Tagged , , , , ,

Twihards as loca as my hair


Remember how I said I was dying my hair from red to brown?
Yeah well that totally failed.

So went through the whole process, then rinsed…why is the water red? I thought but then I dismissed it as the dye itself…
Then I dryed my hair, and under the glow of my bedroom light I could have swore my hair was glowing red, and resembling a nuclear strawberry.

Holy crap it’s EVEN REDDER THAN BEFORE!

I figured the stuff in the new dye that kinda ‘awakens’ the colour kinda ‘awoke’ what was left of the red dye in my hair so it’s mixed with the new dye making one hell of hot damn mess.
But I’ll say, I’m growing towards it, although some of my relatives have reacted negatively towards it but hey, I wasn’t trying to impress them was I?
So I’ll never be a hairdresser…that’s one gem of a talent lost to the industry.

I’m sitting up in my room with a large Fanta from McDonalds because I’m fat and live off the stuff. I really shouldn’t be drinking it as it might stain my teeth, thanks to the monstrosity of craftsmanship inserted in my mouth…more commonly referred to as braces.

You’ll be delighted to know (I expect you to care about these things) that my Design Technology grades have increased significantly but on the downside my French grades have suffered. I’m beginning to hate that subject, French, it’s bugging me that schools focus more on the grammar and written part rather than the actual speaking…really we’d need to be able to speak French in business and employment more overall, non?

Also, I had an idea for another blog. Yet again- see? I’m always on the go, always my genius is at present work.
It’s been my ambition for a long long long time to somehow write a story or a novel of some sort. I have a few ideas… And I can promise you many things

  • No vampires whatsoever
  • No boy obsessed over dramatic sleepover clubs
  • No obvious endings
  • Attempts at humour
  • A slight dose of exaggeration of actual events
  • Or at least I’ll try to achieve the above. The vampire thing is an absolute promise, I know a girl who bought her ticket for Breaking Dawn on Tuesday…so she could go and see it on Friday. Loca loca people.
    Tell me what you think. If you guys like it it’ll go ahead for sure, if you think it’s crap vice versa.

    And I called my friend Johnny, and I said “Johnny, what the hell is up with these Twihard freaks?”

    Tagged , , , ,

    It’s ok, I’ve got a PhD in Sarcasm


    It’s finally hit me that Westlife have split. Westlife have spilt.
    No more smushy love songs, X Factor performances sitting on stools and standing up at a dramatic major key change.
    I wasn’t a massive fan…but I would listen to them the odd time. Just the odd time- on the radio. They are not on my iPod.
    Oh well, one more Irish gem lost to nothingness. Jedward are next…let us hope and pray…

    I got a text from my friend asking for advice. Again.
    The irony of this part of my friendships is that I’m like some sort of mother-figure. But why me? (this is sounding uber dramatic, why me?!) I’m so boring. I’m so…me. Everyone has such a more exciting life and I’m just little me. I’m like the back up friend- it’s as if people think “Oh I’m so depressed…I will talk to you!”. Is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? Ill let you know in due course.

    I swear, if I hear the phrase emotional rollercoaster one more time, I shall scream. Wow aren’t you just the psychologist using a metaphor that means “ups and downs in your life?” such a fricken genius…bitch please, I can come up with metaphors in my sleep…and I’ll tell you one when that phenomena occurs.

    Something I saw that made me laugh today? An iPod background that said
    if laughter is the best medicine your face is curing the world
    Yes I like that so much you’ll never understand. so I’m guessing that makes all comedians doctors?
    The idea of Peter Kay performing a major operation amuses me.

    Tagged , , , , , , , ,

    The Dangers of The Macarena


    I was sitting down listening to my iPod as per usual, when I took a wild notion to press shuffle- something I never do as it scares me that any song beyond my control could thunderously uproar upon my ears. It also reminds of my horrendous taste in music and why I’m a danger to all when I set foot in HMV.

    A song came on that I haven’t heard in ages. A song that truly reminded me of my childhood.
    The Macarena baby!
    First of all I thought, what the hell is this doing on my iPod? but then I actually sat and listened. I sat and listen and enjoyed the Macarena- no dance moves required.
    And I have realised that I have just done so, and I have realised that’s a whole loada seconds in my life I’ll never get back. Wow. Deep.

    I have just been reminded of the fact I have PE tomorrow. I’m slightly scared of the fact I’ll either have netball or cross country- two fricken extremes.

    Oh and another thing I find relevant to you all, the red hair is no more. Actually! I’m dying it brown again! Oh dry your eye my sweet one it’ll be back someday…I’m just wanted my hair to be a bit more au natural for a while…and anyway it’s a nicer shade of brown- less chocolate cake and more dark caramel. This is making me hungry now.

    Adios amigos I’m in such of a snack.
    And remember kids, eat your greens! I have two Aero Bars everyday and look at the good it’s done me.

    Tagged , , , , ,

    Rory Flanagan- New Boy


    I know it’s a little late, but I was in the mood for A review of some sort. Then along came Rory Flanagan.

    20111113-163457.jpg

    I was one of the Gleeks that watched the Glee Project over summer in which saw Damian Mcginty from Derry, in the mighty Northern Ireland, become one of the lucky teens that one a six-episode staring role in Glee. Now I genuinely liked Damian on this programme. I thought he struggled but I somehow felt privileged that I was one of the very few viewers that understood what he was saying without subtitles. I would at this point like to make it perfectly clear that my accent is slightly different to his.

    When I heard that Brittany S. Pearce was going to think he was a leprechaun, I kind of thought, oh boy, this whole Irish thing is going to be a long and drawn out process, goody goody gumdrops but far from it.
    I loved the fact that he asked Finn Hudson to be his friend, it was just really cute and something a five year old would say on their first day of school- and that he was granting Brittany’s three wishes in order to get into her ‘pot of gold’ (innuendo!)- and we could really see a cheeky side to him when he met Finn for the first time.

    I don’t know about you, but when he said he didn’t have any friends, I wanted to jump into the television and give him a huge hug. Cheeky, with what I hope you American’s will think of as a brilliant accent, adorable and talented? Take notes, gentlemen- yes please.
    When he belted out his song at the end, I’ll say I was shocked at those HIGH NOTES that I’m certain that me, a teenage girl, wouldn’t be able to hit. It also clarified that Damian was clearly better with vocals than his acting abilities. Harsh but true.

    Overall, I love the character. I can definitely see him becoming a favourite by the Gleeks around the world…if they can understand him, of course.

    This new character could potentially open up a whole new Northern Irish fanbase for Glee, and I personally, will looking forward to seeing him in further episodes…and the fact I’m slightly head over heels in love with him has nothing to do with it whatsoever.

    Tagged , , , , , ,