Category Archives: weird and the wonderful

YouTubers


I am a YouTube addict, I’ll admit it. My parents would say it’s at the extent that I even need to go to special meetings because of it. But as I promised a post today and I thought it appropriate to make a post about my favourite Youtubers, so in no particular order;

JennaMarbles

Probably one of the most hilarious youtubers I’ve came across in a while. The things she says in her videos about What Girls Do…etc. I quit literally l of my chair laughing- invented the ‘go away’ face
Recommend: How to get guys to like you, How to avoid talking to people you don’t want to talk to

Lukeisnotsexy

Damn funny student from Sheffield, he isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea but I love him anyway. Tends to talk shit a lot (He made a Justin Bieber parody of Boyfriend called “If I had a penis”- take that as you will) and has a hilarious talent when it comes to narrating gaming videos
Recommend: The Experiment, YouTube Survey 2011!, The Carnage Continues

Danisnotonfire

Another British YouTuber that brightens up your day with anecdotes about his unbelievably awkward facepalm-worthy life and a constant reminder that no matter how shit your life is, Dan Howell’s is somehow more so.
Recommended: How I Got Fired, Left-Handism

Commuinitychannel

Does Natalie Tran need any introduction whatsoever? I mean really? Where have you been if you’ve not heard of her? My mum rates her.
Recommend: All of it!

Nerimon

Musician first and YouTuber second, Alex Day’s single Forever Yours peaked at Number 4 on the Uk Christmas Charts. He doesn’t give a damn what people think of him, made his own card game, founded a band that sings about Doctor Who, lives with Charlieissocoollike, and has a liking for Taylor Swift. Awesomeness on a whole new level.
Recommend: Lady Godiva, Embarrassing teenager

I could list so many more; Charlieissocoollike, amazingphil, nigahiga, but I simply can’t be bothered my lazy ass. Haha, and links to videos? You obviously have working internet, google it yourself.
That’s all for today so I’ll see you all sometime after the weekend.

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My Beard Says Hi


FREEDOM! Finally I have been released of the shackles that are my school for the holidays!
Mother has hinted (excruciatingly unsubtly) about that I’ll be spending 99.9% of my holidays studying- which I know is what I have to do, just telling me all the time and mentioning it in every sentence isn’t exactly encouraging. I mean I know what I have to do, it’s just nagging me about it makes me less likely to actually do it.
I couldn’t believe that the enquiry into the phone-hacking scandal is still on-going, and even Piers Morgan is being accused. I looked up to this guy professionally, he started small, became the editor of a national newspaper, and is now living it up big in the US of A- yes, this is what I aspire to. Put it this way, I want to have been important and have made a significant enough impact on the world to have the Google Homepage changed in honour of my birthday.

Seeing the pictures of Kim
Jong Il lying in state, I felt uneasy. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter, it’s a subject of which most people have a similar opinion, and I’m not going to raise my views on a subject I know little about. Uneasy, that is all.

On a lighter and more pleasant note, Merry Christmas Everyone! I’m not sure for certain what exactly I’m getting but it’s something anyway. In the next few days I’ll be running about visiting relatives which is, of course, delightful.

And hey, I forgot to mention, don’t be afraid to email me, (missEejit@gmail.com or click a link
On one of my comments or whatever) seriously, a bit of Human contact makes my day as you know, I live in a cave, and the only comfort I have is my facial hair. Only joking, I actually live in a treehouse. With elves.

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Should I panic now?


Ok, so here’s the thing, I’m slight on
edge at the current moment.

I received one of those (what I thought to be) hilarious chain mail joke texts from a relative, but as It was a bit of a risky one, I sent it only to a handful of people that I knew should get the joke.

After the positive feedback and endless LOLs, I sent it to a few more friends.
But you see, I sent it to a friend who I haven’t texted in a while, and after it was sent, I got a reply asking “who is this???!” So Obviously I replied, identifying myself.
Now I’m panicking, as my friend got a new phone recently (and possibly a new number) so I’m worrying incase of the likely she has passed on her old phone (and possible old phone number…that I sent the message too) to her sister.

I haven’t got a reply yet, and like I said, the text was slightly risky. In fact not even slightly, it was a 50/50 chance of humorous approval. And now, I may have sent the risky text to my friend’s either younger or older sister. Who now knows who I am. Dammit.

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Party All Weekend! LOLJK I watched the dog crap


My mum and one of my sisters are away until Sunday after so myself and my other sister were left at home with our 12 week-old puppy. We were instructed that dad would be home around 4pm and if we needed anything we were to walk to our grandparents house for lunch or food or drink or whatever.

After watching three hilarious episodes of last year’s Come Fly With Me, I made the decision to walk up to my grandparents house, only to realise I’d have to go back to my house fifteen minutes later and let the puppy out (obviously a puppy doesn’t understand it when we tell him ‘Pissing on the carpet makes mummy angry’) so yeah I spent half the day wandering around my garden with a puppy in the freeeeezing cold thinking hurry up and shit, please

Back at my grandparents, and after a feast of Cheese and Onion crisp sandwiches, I feel asleep on the sofa as my Grandad flicked through the tv channels asking me if I watched certain programmes. I woke up to find my sister had made cupcakes and my grandparents both asleep. We agreed to go home and watch our Sky tv in our own house. I watched Friends while my sis arsed around up in her room.

Damn, I just realised the shit load of homework I have… Sunday’s gonna be fun…although I refuse to go to church and use the work as an excuse.

You have no idea the pain I was subject to in PE on Thursday.
I had to run a total of about 1/2 a kilometre in under 2:30 minutes. I came 7th! I actually placed! And I didn’t get a stitch! Only afterwards I felt like I couldn’t breath. I could only manage one word when people spoke to me.

20111203-192758.jpg

Friend:
“How did you find it?”
Me: no
Friend: “what place did you come?”
Me: no
Teacher: “Wanna do it again?”
HELL TO THE NO

Im hoping the sky would hurry up and snow so people would stop putting it as their Facebook Statuses. They say shit like that, I put up gobshite such as “Almost went to jail today…damn these Monopoly games are getting hardcore”

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Doing Feck all on a Friday


Ah Fridays, you know what I love about Fridays? Doing Feck all, that’s what. Knowing that I won’t wake up to an alarm clock tomorrow and knowing also that I won’t wake up dreading something, as typical me, usually spends my mornings doing that homework I forgot to do, or doing that homework that I “forgot” (*ahem*) a few days ago or running about the house screaming at the people who live with me (more commonly referred to as “family”) such phrases as
“HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FILE FOR [insert subject here]?! ANYONE?!”
Or, the classic:
“WHO THE HELL MOVED THE PILE OF PAPERS HERE? THAT WAS MY HISTORY REPORT YOU COMPLETE [insert tasteless acid tongued insult here]!”
Yes so as you can gather I’m one extremely organised human being.

My friends made a valid point today after I made a lot of really random jokes in RE in reference to us learning about the Passover. What can I say? I was on a roll- and don’t worry, they weren’t racist or offensive in any way, shape or form, I’ll leave that for Frankie Boyle.
“You always have to make everything funny, don’t you? Everything’s laughable with you! I’ve never seen you depressed,” they said.
Well, duh, obviously. Really, would they rather I sat around moping about how bring is worth living for on this cold, dark dark planet? Would they rather I made Facebook statuses such about how much I admire the colour black? I doubt it highly. It’s just a thing with me, i mean, why not lighten the mood 24/7? I feed on laughter.
Unless of course, I’m in a sarcastic mood, in which case you better watch out, as I criticise and ridicule all that falls before me.
Yet as I said, the point is a valid one, I do tend to try and make everything funny, at times without even realising it.
But everything seems a whole lot funnier when you’re me, of course.

I’ve realised the preposterous amount of speech marks and inverted comas I’m using in this present post, so apologies if your head is as shredded as mine.
And with that, I shall leave you- and Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans, even though no one in the UK celebrates it…we’re all too busy turning on our town Christmas lights.

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My new addiction


No no no, despite the title I am not in rehab recovering from an addiction to any illegal substances.

I’ve been trying to teach myself guitar for the past few weeks. Sitting with a borrowed guitar and a copy of Guitar for Dummies (really, no joke) and I’ve slowly grown towards it.
I’ve finally completed Auld Lang Syne (that can’t be spelt correctly) and I sort of can play the little one-string intro from Mumford & Son’s Roll Away your Stone. I’m really really warming to the whole guitar thing, looking up tabs and chords on the web and attempting to sound like Taylor freakin Swift ends in immense joy when I make a sound on the guitar that sounds something similar to the actual song (or a sound that just generally sounds like an actual note).
I went to piano lessons for three years and in that time I only achieved my Grade 1, passing by only a couple of marks due to the fact I completely blanked when I was asked to play the scale of G Major. This gave me a foundation for reading music.
Last year I started singing lessons but was dropped by my teacher due to his own family matters- I’m now resuming these lessons (but with a different teacher) sometime this week.
I came top in my class in Music last year so despite not actually being able to play an instrument, I can read music and play basic notes on the piano.
Last week I played the triangle in our Class Orchestra along with my friends, yet I conducted them as I’m the one
who understands musical time signatures. So it was me sitting there saying “One DING three DING, One DING three DING!”

I played so much my fingers really really hurt. It’s all purple and stuff. Suffering for my art 😉

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Random outbursts of music, and dramatic words on pages


Little bit random, I just literally belted out the chorus of Kings and Queens (complete with the ‘Aaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaa-aaaaaaa’s and everything) when my mother walked in like it was just so normal and set washing on the bed.
I always burst into spontaneous song. Like today I sang my Glee inspired version of You Can’t Stop the Beat all through LLW (LLW is our version of like, talking about feelings and being friends and rainbows and ponies and pixie dust and all that developmental crap).
I also belted out the chorus to Mumford & Sons Little Lion Man really randomly in RE and my mate Shorty (you guys know Shorty right? More on him later, he’s becoming a ladies man- best part is he doesn’t even know it)
Anyway, Shorts acknowledged the fact that I was singing a song by The best band in the whole entirety of the whole wide world ever and I got serious kudos/brownie points whatever the Frig you want to call it from the males in my class- never a bad thing.

“YOU LIKE MUMFORD AND SONS TOO? Seriously? You do? Cool…that’s Cool…”

Yeah boys, I’m female, and I have a frigging amazing taste in music-
Get in line!

I got told off in school for talking… AGAIN!
It was only a sub, so I sat laughing and answering back like the cheeky wee arse I’m not. But then I totally aced a question she asked and she seemed pissed off when she had to congratulate me on my undebatable argument about the topic we were discussing. This is me all over, the “Told YE so!” side. Another hilarious example of this was last Wednesday;

Our school has a “library period” in which they expect 24 thirteen year olds to sit in silence staring at a page of some the fine *cough cough* literature that is provided by the school. My music teacher (yay the one that doesn’t like me) supervises. I forgot my book and whoop-dee-doo the week I decide to be honest is the week shes handing out essays to write – my subject was “how I value my library time”
I thought to myself “right bitch, if you got yourself into this, your gonna get yourself out with one hell of a bang”

So I sat, I thought, writing essays were never difficult for me, I’m one of those people in the world that fly through English firing out essays everywhere- I just find it easy- writing is something I love, it’s half the reason I do this blog- so I actually can fire out pieces that wouldn’t be accepted at school and people actually want to read them.

I wrote a lot of crap about how books capture one’s imagination, let me give you a snippet!
“books allow us to get lost through every word and line and forget about the reality we live in, and let our imagination run away with what might lurk beyond the next page we turn,”
It’s all lies by the way, it was a load of dramatic garbage I scrawled a page. And my teacher said she enjoyed every word. Mission accomplished.

I’m afraid I have run out if stuff to say at this moment in time- ooh shocker I know, but I’m busy, I’ve got like…homework and texting and facebooking and stuff to do. (like how I list my priorities?)
Anyway, peace out and see you on the flip side and all that crap.

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Ridiculously long blogfull of rubbish


24th September dudes!

I’m officially thirteen and I swear to God that if I hear the phrase “your a big teenager now!” I will personally smash every electrical item in my household (that does not belong to me).

I had a few friends round over night. I’ve always found the concept of a sleepover intriguing. So, let me get this straight, someone said one day “Right lawds, [obviously, they wouldn’t say lawds if they went northern Irish], it’s my birthday, I know! Let’s stay up all night gossiping and throwing Malteasers at each other!”

My sleepovers-ugh I hate calling it that, it sounds so girly! Ill just refer to it as The Party from now on- I’ve just noticed that I’m forever changing the names of things/people…so there…

Anyway, The Party, was not your average pillow fight, fluffy slippers “Let’s tell secrets!” Girly swirly whirly stereotype. We sang Karaoke (I think I murdered River Deep Mountain High) …in fancy dress, ate lots of cake, went to the local youth club and had a massive game of Just Dance 2 with half my year from school, and I was the last to fall asleep at 4:00 am when we got home. I was shocked, I’m always the first to fall asleep, In fact I fell asleep at 2:30 am last week as my friend began a rant about the common mispronunciation of “arctic”.

I’m sorry I’m just laughing, I’m watching the news and the newsreader just said
“the satellite that was due to fall to earth today landed somewhere in the Specific Ocean” LOL

My birthday money totalled £285 (yeah, I know!) and you’ll never guess what my mother said to me,

“why don’t we go to Belfast someday and you can go spend some money in Hollister?”

I burst out laughing. You see, in my school, as some of the students are more….”upper” than others, your considered a nobody if you don’t exchange your mandatory PE kit for a Hollister tee and shorts or a full A&F tracksuit.
I don’t even like half the clothes in Hollister, you walk into the dark place and your brains says “Frig I’ve gone blind!” I’m always on a mission to find a light switch- and a leggy blonde welcomes you to “The Pier” and I reply with “your in the middle of the city, no where near a bloody pier!”
And the SMELL in that place? Honestly, they need to invest in some lightbulbs and some febreeze air freshener

WASH IT? WASH IT WITH FEBREEZE!

I don’t own any Hollister, I prefer adding to my pride and joy that is my Converse All Stars collection.

I’m now watching Come Dine With Me, the only reason I watch this show is for the narrator. Sarcastic Arsehole is a genius.

Last night I enlightened an English friend of mine of some northern Irish slang,

Scundered- embarrassed

Stroked- ripped off

Banjaxed- broken

She loves those words, so there you go, as there is a 99.9% chance that you, my dear reader, are American, you have been enlightened with the way I talk.
Speaking of America, Turns out you lot preferred Cheryl Cole to Nicole Shirtslinger! Wow! How surprising! I personally dont think X factor will work in the USA.

How did you lot like Jeremy Kyle as well? I watch that show simply to laugh at the situations, I saw a fab Facebook like saying “you know you’ve crossed the line when Jeremy sits on the step”
So true, so true.

Omg Gok Wan has a new series! I love him! Yeah he’s gay, but I’d marry him- I want him to be my personal stylist.

See ya mon Amis, there’s a battered sausage supper with my name on it au revoir!

Hey Dudes IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME LAWWDS..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I’m a day late, I’ve stayed up all night with my friends!!

That is all. 🙂

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Downton & regional accents & stuff


Downton Abbey returned to our British screens last night, so I had to make a mental recap about everything. Shout out to you Americans, you lot just can’t get ENOUGH of humble British period dramas, WHY IS THAT? Why are you obsessed with it all? Is it the accents? Yeah… I think we’ve concluded it’s the accents. (obviously not the american lady’s accent- she sounds like the swedish chef from the muppets) Why do people find English accents so attractive? Or as you lot call them, British accents, Britain is the collective name for England, Scotland Wales and Northern Ireland ( < my home turf, yeerrroooo!!), so saying that a "British Accent" applies to all of the UK, is like me thinking the typical Tennessee Cowboy accent applies to every American out there. (Btw, I had to look up in my geography textbook if Tennessee was actually in America, so much extra research is put into this blog it's unreal).

Personally I find certain regional English accents annoying, (Manchester accents drive me UP THE WALL!) but i love cockney london accents. (Olly Murs how I LOVE YOU!). That's the "we hate those arrogant english arseholes" irish side of me trying to push through- I'll have a wee word with her later.

Call me arrogant but I find my NORN IRON accent very attractive, and it's personally a pleasure waking up to it every morning. I mean, we pronounce 'tea', 'tay' , it's Pure Legend! We should have our own bloody dictionary for frigs sake! And The legendary band that is SNOW PATROL came from
Northern Ireland! Also we're widely renowned for HOW MUCH CRAIC WE ARE (both sober and completely smashed…but mostly completely smashed)
My god, The Northern Ireland Tourist Board will be wanting me to write booklets and stuff next. I've sold the country like a cow at a farmer's Market.

Southern Irish accents are just…phwoar. I will honestly marry an Irishman just for the accent. And I'll make him say "turd" all.day.long.baby.
I'll marry an Irish comedian, cuz the Irish have the best sense of humour in the world. John Bishop said so himself (another accent,the Liverpudlian- one I quite like).

Scottish accents are just brilliant. And very very very very hot. I don't know why, they just have the ooft factor. It's almost like every time I hear a scottish person speak my brain mentally gives what I'm hearing a seal of approval. That , Or part of me just likes Liam Dryden a little too much.

I think I've just rated and slated most countries in and around the UK, except the welsh- but I don't have a half decent sheep joke on me currently. Soz.

That's all from me folks,

– MissEejit

SIDE NOTE:
This blog was completely accidental LOL I was going to do a big Downton Abbey slagging match, but then I got into the accent thing and…it happened!

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