Category Archives: inside my brain

Varying levels of intelligence


Today, I went for a walk around the country roads in which I live – as I was bored and decided while they’re was a moment when it WASN’T raining (it’s Ireland, any day it doesn’t rain is considered a ‘good day’) I’d gather myself up and lazily plod up and down hills with Ed Sheeran blasting through my earphones. I surprised myself a little by running (yes RUNNING) up a few hills and bouncing in and out of jogging and ‘power walking’.
Typically half way, the heavens opened and turned from an a barely-there drizzle to a properly unmerciful downpour.
After twenty minutes i eventually arrived home completely drenched and unable to see due to the amount of water on my glasses. How smart am I? Not very, as this would demonstrate.

It’s finally hit me that I have a MASSIVE homework due that I’ve had over a month to prepare for and I haven’t got one thing done for it- and it’s to be done using this rather annoying computer software that only my school’s computers have.
Reason why I hate technology #537

How did everyone’s Valentine’s go? I find it the ultimate pranking opportunity, call me shallow but when an absolute beauty of a class joke can be made from an unlikely couple and then relived and placed on an entirely different level of course I’m going to be the one to step up to the plate. Let’s just say all has been forgiven, and I have been warned that revenge shall be brought upon me….
#WatchOutWeGotABadassOverHere

I came last in my class for Religious Education, perhaps it’s a sign…

Definition from the Official Dictionary of Sarcasm #2
IKEA- a retail furniture warehouse whose motto is “here you freaking’ build it”

Mimicking a trumpet and other such adventures


This week, I have been locked in a room with people sitting in straight lines – Sectioned in a metal institute? I wish. This phenomena involves me of course catching a ghastly cold SLAP BANG in the middle of this examination process. Yes just like most people my age I’m taking exams 😦 *sad face FML* Also, every time I actually take the polite approach to coping with nasal congestion by holding a tissue to my nasal passages and mimicking a trumpet, the entire exam room turns around to look at me like I’m some sort of freak.
My Facebook newsfeed is abominated with Omg I hate exams :'(, Ugh Miss/Mr ___ is so AWFUL!!, English will be THE DEATH OF ME!!! Meanwhile I quip, “Heading to the convent anyway, so feck it all”.

Snow Patrol’s new album Fallen Empires was something I got for Christmas that I’ll happily admit to. Why? It’s just SO.GOOD. I’m being serious, if you get a chance, check them out. Really, something positive came out of Northern Ireland- hard to believe I know. I’d put the links up but unless you’re half chimp or something, get your ass to Google and type S-N-O-W P-A-T-R-O-L.
And do me a favour and tell me what you think if you do get a listen, I kind of love them just.

I was away this weekend and before we left, mother told me to tidy my room. Why? What logic is there for tidying a room that I won’t be living in until the next weekend? “because I said so,” she’d say
because I said so- translation- Because I’ve more authority over you until you turn eighteen. True story.

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An announcement and half a rant


Well, news for you all, the whole ‘new blog thing’ is coming along nicely, I know exactly where I’m going with it and hopefully sometime soon I’ll get some sort of tester or teaser or free sample (am I the only one that treasures samples from magazines and keeps them? Or am I the only one? Just me? Ok- nothing to see here)
Anyway, yeah, I’m working on a little tester for yo fine selves to enjoy. Yes that right, I’m actually doing this, I thought I should wait until I get a few more subscribers, but what the hell. I like to think of this thing as the exaggerated truth, stuff that happens in my life that I add and subtract to for your reading pleasure- cuz as you know I live for giving you pleasure…yeah your.mum.rates.me.

You know what bugged me a few days ago? Don’t pee with anticipation, I’m gonna tell you as always.

It was French, and myself and a friend looked up a word in the French dictionary, only for hilarity to consume when we saw the definition and the French equivalent. I made a poem using these words and other French words, (I’m not going to tell you, these are two teenage girl we’re talking about- it’ll be damaging to your innocent ears)
Trying to control our laugher, we told the crowd in the table next to us, who couldn’t get the joke.
Next class, I tried to explain what happened to the other crowd, only for them to conclude they didn’t find it funny.
On hearing this, my friend, who for the record was falling off her chair laughing, told the other crowd she never found it funny and was only “playing along”.
WTF? Really? Suddenly if they don’t find it funny, you don’t either? Well
at least in know where I stand with you then. Crowd pleaser.
Damn that annoyed. That fecking annoyed me. Really really annoyed me. Two faced. That’s all it is.

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Doing Feck all on a Friday


Ah Fridays, you know what I love about Fridays? Doing Feck all, that’s what. Knowing that I won’t wake up to an alarm clock tomorrow and knowing also that I won’t wake up dreading something, as typical me, usually spends my mornings doing that homework I forgot to do, or doing that homework that I “forgot” (*ahem*) a few days ago or running about the house screaming at the people who live with me (more commonly referred to as “family”) such phrases as
“HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FILE FOR [insert subject here]?! ANYONE?!”
Or, the classic:
“WHO THE HELL MOVED THE PILE OF PAPERS HERE? THAT WAS MY HISTORY REPORT YOU COMPLETE [insert tasteless acid tongued insult here]!”
Yes so as you can gather I’m one extremely organised human being.

My friends made a valid point today after I made a lot of really random jokes in RE in reference to us learning about the Passover. What can I say? I was on a roll- and don’t worry, they weren’t racist or offensive in any way, shape or form, I’ll leave that for Frankie Boyle.
“You always have to make everything funny, don’t you? Everything’s laughable with you! I’ve never seen you depressed,” they said.
Well, duh, obviously. Really, would they rather I sat around moping about how bring is worth living for on this cold, dark dark planet? Would they rather I made Facebook statuses such about how much I admire the colour black? I doubt it highly. It’s just a thing with me, i mean, why not lighten the mood 24/7? I feed on laughter.
Unless of course, I’m in a sarcastic mood, in which case you better watch out, as I criticise and ridicule all that falls before me.
Yet as I said, the point is a valid one, I do tend to try and make everything funny, at times without even realising it.
But everything seems a whole lot funnier when you’re me, of course.

I’ve realised the preposterous amount of speech marks and inverted comas I’m using in this present post, so apologies if your head is as shredded as mine.
And with that, I shall leave you- and Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans, even though no one in the UK celebrates it…we’re all too busy turning on our town Christmas lights.

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My new addiction


No no no, despite the title I am not in rehab recovering from an addiction to any illegal substances.

I’ve been trying to teach myself guitar for the past few weeks. Sitting with a borrowed guitar and a copy of Guitar for Dummies (really, no joke) and I’ve slowly grown towards it.
I’ve finally completed Auld Lang Syne (that can’t be spelt correctly) and I sort of can play the little one-string intro from Mumford & Son’s Roll Away your Stone. I’m really really warming to the whole guitar thing, looking up tabs and chords on the web and attempting to sound like Taylor freakin Swift ends in immense joy when I make a sound on the guitar that sounds something similar to the actual song (or a sound that just generally sounds like an actual note).
I went to piano lessons for three years and in that time I only achieved my Grade 1, passing by only a couple of marks due to the fact I completely blanked when I was asked to play the scale of G Major. This gave me a foundation for reading music.
Last year I started singing lessons but was dropped by my teacher due to his own family matters- I’m now resuming these lessons (but with a different teacher) sometime this week.
I came top in my class in Music last year so despite not actually being able to play an instrument, I can read music and play basic notes on the piano.
Last week I played the triangle in our Class Orchestra along with my friends, yet I conducted them as I’m the one
who understands musical time signatures. So it was me sitting there saying “One DING three DING, One DING three DING!”

I played so much my fingers really really hurt. It’s all purple and stuff. Suffering for my art 😉

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It’s ok, I’ve got a PhD in Sarcasm


It’s finally hit me that Westlife have split. Westlife have spilt.
No more smushy love songs, X Factor performances sitting on stools and standing up at a dramatic major key change.
I wasn’t a massive fan…but I would listen to them the odd time. Just the odd time- on the radio. They are not on my iPod.
Oh well, one more Irish gem lost to nothingness. Jedward are next…let us hope and pray…

I got a text from my friend asking for advice. Again.
The irony of this part of my friendships is that I’m like some sort of mother-figure. But why me? (this is sounding uber dramatic, why me?!) I’m so boring. I’m so…me. Everyone has such a more exciting life and I’m just little me. I’m like the back up friend- it’s as if people think “Oh I’m so depressed…I will talk to you!”. Is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? Ill let you know in due course.

I swear, if I hear the phrase emotional rollercoaster one more time, I shall scream. Wow aren’t you just the psychologist using a metaphor that means “ups and downs in your life?” such a fricken genius…bitch please, I can come up with metaphors in my sleep…and I’ll tell you one when that phenomena occurs.

Something I saw that made me laugh today? An iPod background that said
if laughter is the best medicine your face is curing the world
Yes I like that so much you’ll never understand. so I’m guessing that makes all comedians doctors?
The idea of Peter Kay performing a major operation amuses me.

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Music and Its Many Memories.


I don’t know about you, but I’m a massive fan of music, and not just one genre, but most. I was discussing with a friend about songs that trigger a certain thought or memory in your head when you hear them. First of all, the discussion began about change, and I said even just that word, Change, reminded me of the Taylor Swift song of the same name ( don’t judge my love for Taylor Swift, deep down everyone likes her songs…unless your Kanye West of course).
Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody reminds me of my dad, but the funny thing is I have no idea why. I think it’s because on holiday, we used to sit in a certain bar everynight, and the live singer sang that particular song on acoustic guitar at least once every night while dad and I sat talking about everyday things, as it was really the only time we really got to have an actual, proper conversation- and I have to say, I think we learnt more about each other.
I’ve proclaimed my love for Mumford and Sons on many occasions, as every single song they put their name too just makes me feel good. Such an organic, earthy sound that brings me back home. Real music. I close my eyes and I’m in my house, curled up on the sofa, earphones in and the world shut out, listening to a whirlwind of banjos and guitars and acoustics and thumping beats with my sister tapping me on the shoulder telling me to stop singing so loudly.
It’s funny how songs can change your mood so quickly too. Count on Me by Bruno Mars make me feel all emotional as it reminds me of a friend of mine, it describes things we’ve been through and how without each other, goodness knows where we’d be. At a dance, the DJ played ADELE’s Someone Like You and all of a sudden everyone calmed down. One minute they were bouncing around to JLS singing “THE CLUB IS ALLLIVEE…” and then next everyones huddled, singing along with all the power their lungs could behold.
Oddly enough, some songs remind me of some of the most random memories possible. Robbie William’s You Know Me reminds me of Christmas shopping- that song has no relation to Christmas whatsoever from my knowledge.
All the same, it’s weird how a sound can interact with you and change how your feeling and your current train of thought. Simply switch with a strum of a guitar or beat of a drum. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a song about heartbreak or long lost love, it’s just about everything.

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This Post Is Too Gangsta For A Title


‘Bout Ye?
So after that stereotypical Irish greeting that I’m guessing most of you didn’t understand, I’m suppose I’d better get on with this blog, everyone comfortable? Good, because I’m gonna ramble on anyways.

Please don’t tell me I’m the only one that does this.
You know those times when you can’t sleep? And your lying there, eyes closed, head on the pillow, and your trying to think about something that will get you off to sleep….
So the thing your brain decides is perfect for thinking about, is playing out ideal life situation in your head- things you wish would happen in life. Am I the only one? Because it’s given me an idea…
And you know those times when your telling someone an anecdote from your life and just to make it sound more exciting, you exaggerate, just a little bit?
Well, by combining these two ideas, along with a heavy dose of the shit that goes down in my life, it seems like something to do for a second blog.
So basically, I’ll take things that happen in my life, and change it up, so it looks like something actually happened…or post those things that run through my head that I call “perfect scenarios”.
So what do you think? Pretty damn shit, or not a bad idea?
This whole thing is completely based for you, and it’s also one of the reasons I haven’t posted in ages ( nope it’s not really, I’ve just been really lazy and got into trouble in school several times meaning I got lots of extra homework…but that’s for another blog).

So as always, post your witty attempts at feedback down below (no not that down below you pervert, I know what goes on in your filthy Internet mind) and if this happens to be your first time visiting this blog, Welcome! Stay for a while and make yourself at home make yourself a cup Tea, and relax- but if you’ve been here before…well, You’re welcome 🙂

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I’VE BEEN TO THE YEAR 3000!


Remember these utterly loveable clampets?

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Yeah! Busted! The soft punk/rock/pop boyband that my eight year old self feel in love with.
I found their album under my bed when I did some tidying up (yeah I know I tidied my room! Shocker lawds, shocker!) and played it on my old stereo-the one that can actually play CDs- I’m very pro-iPod at the moment- and it brought back a lot of memories. Mostly of bouncing on my bed with my best friend singing along to the songs, dancing around my bedroom and flickering the light switch so we had our own ‘concert’.
I also realise that for once I actually understand the lyrics- full of teenage love, angst (yeah-I said the A word) and fanciful ideas of both teachers and air hostesses. Yah…So that’s something…

As I’m writing this I’m tempted to air guitar to the music I’m playing- THIS IS WHAT 30 SECONDS TO MARS DOES TO ME!
I know all the words to Kings and Queens- which again, got me more musical kudos from the males in my class. I’m starting to wonder why I’m as boyish as I am- I live in a house full of girls (apart from dad) I have more aunts than uncles, two thirds of my cousins are female (I’m the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family). My taste in music is pretty masculine or not typically ‘ladylike’ and as we know, so is my sense of humour- Im yet to find another GIRL in my year that sits up watching Dave with her dad on a boring Friday night and can recite all the gags from Mock the Week…like I can.

You have no idea how good this Busted CD is, it may be cheesy, but it’s really good. I’ll start humming You Said No in class tomorrow and see who can recognised the tune. I can’t believe no ones talked about them since they split, it’s just classic teen rock out music. Before Mcfly came along and ruined it all.

AIR HOSTESS!
I LIKE THE WAY YOU DRESS
YOU KNOW I HATE TO FLY BUT I FEEL MUCH BETTER!
Sorry I couldn’t resist it 🙂

It kinda feels like a wasted weekend- I slept most of the morning today- spent yesterday visiting relatives.
Oh and I tried a deep fried Mars Bar today- it’s sort of a been there done that thing- I can feel the saturated fat growing on my thighs with every mouthful.

I’m now the proud owner of every single album Busted thanks to iTunes- you have no idea how proud I am of this fact.

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A Random Collection of Thoughts


Hey, you know what I hate?
Maths homework.
I don’t understand why they teach us half the stuff they do.
We’re the lazy, technology, there’s-an-app-for-that generation, so Why do I need to know how to turn a decimal into a fraction?
Especially when you’ve got the
crazy maths teacher that I have. Seriously, that guy is on something- a behind the counter something. You can just see it in his face every class, he’s constantly buzzing. He jumps and runs about the classroom and would randomly shout “STOP!” in the middle of class to get our attention- like Mr Humberfloob from The Cat in the Hat when he says FIIRRREEED!!!

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I now refuse to do this homework- it makes my head hurt…or that just could be all three of the energy drinks I had today kicking in. I have a new addiction and they are Poweraid, Lucozade Sport, and BPM.

You are unaware of this, but I actually
Write a blog everyday. I just write one, edit it, and then decide either “yeah that’s alright,” or “neh, its too personal/offensive/controversial/shit,” and I either hit publish or just leave it in my drafts. There’s about fifteen sensational failures of blogs in my drafts now- I’ll get around to finishing them…at some point.

My head’s messed up at the moment. In fact my whole body is. I couldn’t eat all week because of the pain of my braces, for some reason or another I can’t get to sleep at night despite being completely exhausted, leaving me EVEN MORE exhausted in the morning ( ergo the energy drinks) and I’m becoming forgetful and even more disorganised than usual- I completely forgot about a homework- I’m not organised at all but I have never forgotten to do a homework completely and left it 100% unfinished. I mean, sometimes I deliberately don’t do homeworks out of laziness then quickly scribble something before class and hand it in, but I’ve never sat in class, saw everyone else with their projects, ( yeah that’s right, I forgot about a whole PROJECT) and thought, ‘Oooooooh shit’.

I need to get my head back together- so no more Hell’s Kitchen USA for me.

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