Nature hates me

It’s come to light on several occasions that nature, defiantly, does not like me.
Anytime I’m in a place of natural preservation, I’m chewed up and spat back out again.
I’m not the outdoor type, not because I’m prissy and couldn’t bare having mud on my new shoes but because I simply can’t deal with it, and it can’t deal with me. For example;

  • I was at a park in southern Ireland, I stepped in dog shit.
  • When i was younger, At school it was a sunny day so I lay down on the grass for a while…I then found a worm in my hair.
  • I went for a walk in a forest, tripped over a root in the ground five times.
  • At an outdoor pursuits centre we climbed up a mountain- but we climbed through all the crevices in the boulders as we went…I got properly stuck twice and had to be pulled out.
  • Anytime I attempt to go for a run or even a walk, it starts raining.
  • And finally today, at a park with my friends, I SAT yes, SAT in dog shit, seriously people bag your dog excretion for the love of God or it will find it’s way to me, and from there it’ll find it’s way onto Facebook courtesy of my friends. Love my life.
  • So as you can see, it’s pretty clear Mother Nature is holding some kind of grudge against me, seriously- But hey, gives me yet another excuse to stay on the Internet my entire life.

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