24th September dudes!
I’m officially thirteen and I swear to God that if I hear the phrase “your a big teenager now!” I will personally smash every electrical item in my household (that does not belong to me).
I had a few friends round over night. I’ve always found the concept of a sleepover intriguing. So, let me get this straight, someone said one day “Right lawds, [obviously, they wouldn’t say lawds if they went northern Irish], it’s my birthday, I know! Let’s stay up all night gossiping and throwing Malteasers at each other!”
My sleepovers-ugh I hate calling it that, it sounds so girly! Ill just refer to it as The Party from now on- I’ve just noticed that I’m forever changing the names of things/people…so there…
Anyway, The Party, was not your average pillow fight, fluffy slippers “Let’s tell secrets!” Girly swirly whirly stereotype. We sang Karaoke (I think I murdered River Deep Mountain High) …in fancy dress, ate lots of cake, went to the local youth club and had a massive game of Just Dance 2 with half my year from school, and I was the last to fall asleep at 4:00 am when we got home. I was shocked, I’m always the first to fall asleep, In fact I fell asleep at 2:30 am last week as my friend began a rant about the common mispronunciation of “arctic”.
I’m sorry I’m just laughing, I’m watching the news and the newsreader just said
“the satellite that was due to fall to earth today landed somewhere in the Specific Ocean” LOL
My birthday money totalled £285 (yeah, I know!) and you’ll never guess what my mother said to me,
“why don’t we go to Belfast someday and you can go spend some money in Hollister?”
I burst out laughing. You see, in my school, as some of the students are more….”upper” than others, your considered a nobody if you don’t exchange your mandatory PE kit for a Hollister tee and shorts or a full A&F tracksuit.
I don’t even like half the clothes in Hollister, you walk into the dark place and your brains says “Frig I’ve gone blind!” I’m always on a mission to find a light switch- and a leggy blonde welcomes you to “The Pier” and I reply with “your in the middle of the city, no where near a bloody pier!”
And the SMELL in that place? Honestly, they need to invest in some lightbulbs and some febreeze air freshener
WASH IT? WASH IT WITH FEBREEZE!
I don’t own any Hollister, I prefer adding to my pride and joy that is my Converse All Stars collection.
I’m now watching Come Dine With Me, the only reason I watch this show is for the narrator. Sarcastic Arsehole is a genius.
Last night I enlightened an English friend of mine of some northern Irish slang,
Stroked- ripped off
She loves those words, so there you go, as there is a 99.9% chance that you, my dear reader, are American, you have been enlightened with the way I talk.
Speaking of America, Turns out you lot preferred Cheryl Cole to Nicole Shirtslinger! Wow! How surprising! I personally dont think X factor will work in the USA.
How did you lot like Jeremy Kyle as well? I watch that show simply to laugh at the situations, I saw a fab Facebook like saying “you know you’ve crossed the line when Jeremy sits on the step”
So true, so true.
Omg Gok Wan has a new series! I love him! Yeah he’s gay, but I’d marry him- I want him to be my personal stylist.
See ya mon Amis, there’s a battered sausage supper with my name on it au revoir!