Ever want to just hide?
I know I do.
Some people can’t grasp the fact that I need some space. I spent all of Thursday afternoon in my room just thinking and when I came down my family quiz me on what I was doing and if I’m feeling ok. Is it ok if I just have some ‘me time’?
I need to get my head together, cause now it feels like a puzzle.
I just need to think. On my own. I’m a (almost) teenage girl, I kinda have a lot to think about.
I usually love being around people, but at times I need to distance. At times I need to step back before I go insane (or even more insane than I am already, if that’s possible).
When I’m in this solitary state of mind, I don’t like to talk to people. I don’t like being interviewed about my day, or details about my life. This makes me irritable. This lack of communication tends to bug my parents- but I don’t care, it helps me figure out if I’ll need professional mental help at some point. Though I don’t think the nice people in the White coats will be coming for me yet.
Sometimes, if I have something to tick over and I’m in school or whatever, I tend to ‘Zone-out’. I’d block out anything or anybody and kind of go into a world of my own. And yes, my teachers don’t exactly appreciate it. I once got held back at one class and was asked if everything was alright at home as I ‘wasn’t myself’ through out class. I had to make the excuse that I was feeling ill.
So I tend to think a lot, I guess I think too much, I alway go deep into the details of a situation and end up worrying myself- turning what might happen into the inevitable.
I don’t know the point of this blog really, it’s just something I had to get off my chest.